Expectations

from the archives....(previoulsy unpublished drafts)

written on 26/8/10

Its been long, since my last post. Life has moved on by leaps and bounds since then. I have a loving wife, a seat i have coveted for many years, and we are now expecting our first child.
Life in chitra can be hard, but perhaps it makes you tougher. At times you feel like a novice, frustrated also, then you realise that everyone ahead of you have been in your position at one time or the other, and you take courage from that. Rome was not built in a day, and i am not going to learn cardiology in a day! so slow and steady then, and let's see...
My darling wife by the way is having a tough time managing the early symptoms of pregnancy and i had to leave her at her parent's place for some extra care and attention which i am unfortunately unable to provide with my really long working hours.

An End and a new beginning....

A journey is finally at an end, and a new path is now at hand, it comes with more of a sense of relief than of thrill, yep, i am getting married soon, but alongside it, a small matter of getting a cardiology seat has now finally been achieved. Its been more than a year and a half since i first blogged regarding my DM cardio exam, and till the deed had been done, i haven't really been able to predict how it would come by. Sri Chitra is a premier institute for DM cardiology and to be going there after competing with my peer's who are surely as good or even better perhaps, is a fulfilling feeling. I had always imagined how i would blog away if ever i got through, but right now, i am seemingly short of words and just hoping that since life has been kind to me in this regard i am able to live up to its generosity by becoming a good doctor with a heart.

The Exam Chronicles I

14/05/09
Hi, the cmc exam went well... Am just hoping I make it this time. But unlike last time, I have wizened up, and have learnt not to expect anything. Let things take their own course. If you are meant to get the seat, nothing can stop you. And if not, nothing you do can help get it. This may make me sound despondent. But this is the reality and the sooner I accept it , the better for me. I don't want to be superstitious, but life does throw up some strange coincidences sometimes that make you believe otherwise.


15/05 1 : 00 PM
Am sitting in the train bound for delhi, tried to read, but it seems impossible to concentrate. There is a small boy about 4 years old travelling with us. Full of energy, and extremely talkative, his enthusiasm and jest for life is infectious and makes me think, that life is more than just about career and money. enjoy the small moments of happiness whenever they come by, you'll end up being more satisfied with life.

15/05 1: 15 PM
What is it about tamil songs that makes even the most tamil-illiterate person enjoy them, I often wonder? Just like any punjabi can make a song of seemingly non-musical words, we have a seemingly tough language arouse immense apeal when made into a song. Maybe its my imagination. hell! Its ok, I don't care if nobody agrees with me....perhaps i am just passing time thinking about this


15/05 1:30 PM
Back on this half yearly pilgrimage, next stop delhi, where I am hoping I go one better than last time and qualify for the practicals. unlike last time, this time a lot of the travelling has not been planned yet, but I don't want to start worrying about that yet and will plan it as and when I get to that point. As a lot of backpackers do, this time around I intend to go round the country without any prior train or bus reservations, but unlike them, for me this will probably mean a lot of expensive air travelling. I Hate spending like this, but this pilgrimage needs me to do this.

16/05

Got here early morning. The metro construction around the area we are staying seems to have put the businesses here out of business. People seem duller, lazier or maybe again just my imagination.
Its election day!!!! Keen to know who wins..

19/05
Who are happy with their lives? I would definitely want to read the mind of a happy man. Perhaps just to know his little secrets to remaining happy. I'm sure happiness doesn't come easily. in its wake there would lie several sacrifices, several compromises and several episodes of ego suppression. And most of all, it would entail a no purposive greed for money. Yep! With all these out of the way, happiness is certainly a thing we can expect. When a person is happy, how long will it last? If this starts to haunt him, then it certainly won't last long. So what's the secret? My guess is follow the same set of rules that you did to make you happy. Don't try to change anything, especially the way you think. I say this is easier said than done. Well!!.... Well said.
20/05
Someone once said "its ok to return emptyhanded, if only the attempt has been true" . Ok, it was me who said it. But Hey, I have to console myself na. As I read the blog I had written around the same time last year and compare myself to that time, I am able to see a difference in my reaction to these unsuccessful attempts at cracking the Dm exam. The same preresult nervousness and anxiety is there, but the depression that used to follow is somehow not there. We are all creatures of habit, guess this is now becoming a habit. But now thinking about my reaction (or the lack of it) I think it maybe that I am insulating myself from the bad news. Incredibly as I write this, I get a phone call from my senior and close friend Vivek that I have qualified for Cmc vellore interviews. I am so surprised at the turn of events that as I make this entry I am at a loss of words to describe how I feel. For the moment till I fully gulp down this bit of happy news, adios.

judging a mockpress!!!

In life, we occasionally wonder how we land ourselves into oddball situations many times.

Surrounded by the cacophony of girls all talking at the same time, I was in that state, left wondering..why did I say yes to judging the mock press arranged by the school of nursing?

As the first contestant came on stage, i was still unsure, but as soon s she announced to the audience that she was this certain film personality, i had a ready question for her which seemingly caught her off guard and she stumbled to reply. This was easy, i thought. and sure enough I warmed up to the task and before I knew it, I Was shooting away and the contestants were answering quite admirably. Many of the contestants performed decently enough for the audience to cheer for them loudly. I was quite surprised pleasantly by the confidence in some of the girls. Kudos to them. Finally we had to pick three winners, a tough task but had to be done.

In the end, I was quite satisfied. This will go down as a job well done, goes to show sometimes, one should be happy about small pleasures rather than expecting greater things to happen

rehna tu!!!!

lyrics of rehna tu!!!



Rehna Tu
Hai Jaisa TU
Thoda sa dard tu
Thoda Sukun

Rehna Tu
Hai Jaisa TU
Dheema Dheema jhonka
Ya phir junoon
Thoda sa reshma
Tu humdam
Thoda sa khurdura
Kabhi daud jaye
Ya lad jaye
Ya khushboo se bhara

Tujhe badalna na chahoon
Rati bhar bhi sanam
Bina sajawat milawat
Na jyaada na hi kaam

Tuhje chaahon jaisa hai tu
Mujhe teree barish mein beegna hai ghuljana hai
Tujhe chaahon jaisa hai tu
Mujhe tere lapat mein jalna rakh ho jana hai

Tu zakham de agar
Marham bhi aakar tu lagaaye

Zakham mein bhi mujhko pyaar aaye

Dariya o dariya
Doopne de mujhe dariya
Doopne de mujhe dariya

Rehna Tu
Hai Jaisa TU
Thoda sa dard tu
Thoda Sukun

Rehna Tu
Hai Jaisa TU
Dheema Dheema jhonka
Ya phir junoon


Haath tham chalna hi
To dono ke daye haath sang kaise
Haath tham chalna hi
To dono ke daye haath sang kaise

Ek daaya hoga ek baaiya hoga
Tham le haath yeh thaam le
Chalna hai sang tham le

Rehna Tu
Hai Jaisa TU
Thoda sa dard tu
Thoda Sukun

Rehna Tu
Hai Jaisa TU
Dheema Dheema jhonka
Ya phir junoon


Thoda sa reshma
Tu humdam
Thoda sa khurdura
Kabhi daud jaye
Ya lad jaye
Ya khushboo se bhara

Tujhe badalna na chahoon
Rati bhar bhi sanam
Bina sajawat milawat
Na jyaada na hi kaam


Tuhje chaahon jaisa hai tu
Mujhe teri barish mein beegna hai ghuljana hai
Tujhe chaahon jaisa hai tu
Mujhe teri lapat mein jalna rakh ho jana hai

from sense to sena!!!

Hi, so many of us are eagerly waiting for feb fourteenth aren't we? Me too! Though for a reason you wouldn't guess. My friend is getting married on that day. Hmm, he would argue that it isn't the case and his big day is sometime in may. But I told him, that he better prepare for a reception on the fourteenth.
if the "sena" had its way, my words' are going to come true! No need to elaborate am sure cos Mangalore is making headlines all over india(perhaps my dear friends in uk will tell me whether they have heard about it) all for the wrong reasons, Mangalore horror, india,s shame..some of the headlines on national television, really makes u want to take to the streets and bash up a few heads. No time to be violent though, I know.
Well, we indians are all capitalists at heart , want to enjoy the good life with our hard earned money just like any living being does able to think for itself. So why should some "superior " beings ' want to interfere and tell me how to live my life when I am living within the laws of my country. These are times when we should unitedly state that we will not tolerate such an attack on our sensibilities, (if left to me, I would rather bash up a few heads, can't talk sense with the senseless). But better sense' may yet prevail and and the sen'a may go back on their promise.
So here's to the faithful 'lets wait and watch' policy.

slumdog to swades

hi,

I loved slumdog millionaire, and whatever its 'indian' critics say, it doesnt matter to me, it was a gripping movie throughout. But am not going to talk about that movie though, what pleasantly surprised me was the presence of a tune picked out of one of my favorite hindi movies of all time " swades." Salim Malik's ringtone actually gave me goosebumps, and as i scoured the net, i found that i was not the only one who felt thus.

if you want to download the theme go the 05 "theme" on the site http://arrbgm.blogspot.com/2008/01/swades-bgm.html

masakkali 2!!!

Posted for those who love their music, cant get better than this,



Aye masakkali masakkali
Ud matakkali matakkali
Aye masakkali masakkali
Ud matakkali matakkali
Aye masakkali masakkali
Ud matakkali matakkali
Masakkali masakkali
Ud matakkali matakkali

Zara Pankh jhatak gayi dhool atak
Aur lachak machak ke door bhatak
Ud dagar dagar kasbe kooche nukkad basti mein
Yeah yeah….
Itdi se mud ada se ud
Kar le poori dil ki tamanna
Hawa se jud ada se ud
Phurr phurr phurr phurr
Tu hai heera panna re

Masakkali masakkali
Ud matakkali matakkali
Masakkali masakkali
Ud matakkali matakkali

Ghar tera saloni baadal ki colony
Dikha de thenga in sabko jo udna na jaane
Udiyo na dariyo kar manmaani manmaani manmaani
Badhiyo na mudiyo kar nadaani
Udiyo na dariyo kar manmaani manmaani manmaani
Badhiyo na mudiyo kar nadaani

Ab thaan le muskan le
Keh sana nana nana na hawa
Bas thaan le tu jaan le
Keh sana nana nana na hawa
Aye masakkali masakkali
Ud matakkali matakkali
Aye masakkali masa masakkali
Masakkali masakkali ud mata

Re re re re…
Ra ra ra ra…
Hey hey hey hey…
Ho ho ho ho….
Tujhe kya ghum tera rishta
Gagan ki bansuri se hai
Pawan ki guftagu se hai
Suraj ki roshani se hai

Udiyo na dariyo kar manmaani manmaani manmaani
Badhiyo na mudiyo kar nadaani
Udiyo na dariyo kar manmaani manmaani manmaani
Badhiyo na mudiyo kar nadaani

Ab thaan le muskan le
Keh sana nana nana na hawa
Bas thaan le tu jaan le
Keh sana nana nana na hawa
Masakkali masakali
Ud matak matak matakkali
Masakkali masa masa masakkali
Matak matak
Re re re re…
Ra ra ra ra…
Hey hey hey hey…
Ho ho ho ho….
Re re re re…
Ra ra ra ra…
Hey hey hey hey…
Ho ho ho ho….

Masakkali!!!!!!!

hi, folks, Long time, i know....,
We live in dark times today, my friend, few things cheer us up, a shadow creeps upon us unnoticed, fear grips us at every corner, a heaviness lies beneath each step, such are the times my dear friend, beware and be aware.

why is it that in such times, when an indian jewel going by the name of Rahman shines through with alarming success, that we are immediately afraid, afraid that how can he be so bloody consistently good, that we fear the worst?

If the heart jumped with jaane tu, yuvraaj made us dream while ghajini haunted us and slumdog made us proud, with delhi 6 , we are now alarmed, where is it all going to end, why are we being pounded almost every month by compositions so incredulously beautiful that it makes us very afraid.

God, please look after this indian jewel. we know how much we need him in these times.

Attack on doctors, Can it be justified anywhere?

A couple of days back, a mob of around 50 people entered the father muller's hospital premises and attacked the staff on duty in the female ward. This, according to them was in retaliation to the passing away of a girl admitted with complaints of kerosene poisoning. Her death was very sad and occurred despite the best efforts of the doctors concerned. In the ensuing melee, a couple of doctors got hit badly, a lady intern got hit on her face, which lead to her bleeding from her nose, a pregnant nurse got hit so badly that she had to be admitted with complaints of vomiting. This is besides the deep emotional scars one develops when faced by mob fury. We all believe the mob comprised of elements who were bent upon attacking the hospital for political reasons known to many. Is it justified at all. In all our hearts the public does know that no doctor ever wants his patient to die. That is sacrosanct to all of us, and its the most evil of minds who could ever think otherwise. Then why so many attacks on doctors everywhere? Is it the lack of money or the belief that after spending so much money, if the patient dies the relatives tend to be more frustrated. I also believe it is the guilt feeling among the relatives who have never helped the patient when they needed it, but just as their patient dies try to come to the rescue apparently by creating a scene and blaming the doctors concerned. It is so pathetic that people search for reasons to accuse the doctors.
No one becomes a doctor without a service mentality, especially in those specialities with direct contact with the public, and after undertaking so many sacrifices, mentally and financially, when such incidents occur, it takes away the satisfaction we feel after treating a patient.
I have never seen the press openly come in support of doctors anywhere, that is so tragic, as each of those press people have sometime in their life, for however little a time, may have felt indebted to a doctor for having helped them.

There can never be any justification for these happenings

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